Random Thoughts

Being at the start of what sociologist call "young old", I have found that there often moments where my mind wonders and wanders. Because our mind controls the rest of our being it is often this wondering and wandering that finds us thinking random thoughts. Also, because our minds are having these random thoughts at inconvenient times we tend to embarrass ourselves. When this happens all a person can do is sit back a laugh uncontrollably and try not to embarrass ourselves very much.

A few weeks ago, I went shopping. Shopping every few weeks is fun. I never buy much, but I love going to the junk stores and looking. While I was out and about I thought I would call my daughter-in-law and make arrangements to meet her and my granddaughter. The following is why you shouldn't talk on the phone while driving. Especially a very large pick- up truck. I called and we decided to meet at a little strip mall. Well, I then noticed that I had just left that mall and was now past it. Ok, so just turn around. Not so easy for me. I turned to the left and was going to proceed through another strip mall. I didn't realize until I had turned that I was going in the out way. They have a curb built so people won't enter that way. Thank goodness I have a very large pick- up truck.

Can't stop a grandma on a mission. Boom, Boom, over the curbs I went. I am sure the folks at the rather trendy upscale store were having a stroke. A large red pick up, with a gray haired granny, and an Obama for President bumper sticker gunning the motor to get over the curb. Now I have the giggles thinking about what these uppity people must be thinking.

I finally get back to where I was to meet up with my girls. I parked the truck and it occurred to me that I should get out and check the tires and such things because that was a pretty good bump that I had given this old truck. The truck looked ok but I noticed that the wind had picked up and it was getting a little chilly. Back in the truck I tried to put on my cardigan sweater. For most folks this is a simple task. Not me! For some reason I couldn't get the arm holes to accept my arms. I tried to put the sweater on three times to no avail. It was then I noticed a man sitting in a car a few parking spots in front of me. Good grief! I hoped that this man was not watching me fighting with my sweater. Then I got the giggles again. How weird it must be to watch a woman wrestling with her sweater. It is such a simple chore, she must have mental problems. Yeah, well he may have had that one right.

By the time my girls showed up, I was nearly in tears from laughing so hard.

Now on to other random thoughts on aging. Phone calls made in the morning will not be remembered by nightfall. I was talking with my sister and had asked what she would like for Christmas. She stated a couple of things that she would like. We went on to chat about our dogs and our schedules for the day. By the time nightfall came, I no idea what she had told me about Christmas. So I had to call and ask again.

This isn't an isolated incident. I had thought of something that I needed to ask my youngest son. I emailed and asked that he call me when he got off work. Again, by nightfall, I had no idea what it was I wanted to know. I twisted my pea size brain all day and just couldn't remember what it was that I needed to know. When he called all I could do was laugh! Thank goodness he just kept chatting until I finally remembered. Sometimes, I think he just chats using "key" words in the hope that I will remember the question. It must be like rebooting a very old computer.

I have found that these little lapses in memory and abilities that slow me down are really funny. It is like I am a science project on aging. I don't find it frustrating or bothersome (other than the occasional embarrassment) because most of the time it is just to funny.

So to all of you out there who are still young, as you age keep laughing. There is nothing you can do to avoid it, so you may as well have fun.

The Holidays are here. Let me tell you, dear reader, that I am a scrooge. I see no point of all the crazy hubbub. I get cranky. I have never been a fan of the season.

Oh yes, I know the adage "the reason for the season". Ya, well, I happen to think that if we are going to celebrate one religion, we should celebrate all religions equally. Plus, being a non-Christian I feel that I am forced into all this joy and goodwill.

Don't get me wrong. I love seeing my Grandchildrens'faces delight in the holidays. I love their wonder and excitement. It has always been the best part of the holidays. Other than those lovely little faces and the ooohs and ahhs, that is about it for my enjoyment.

Oh and I forgot about the food. I use to do the cooking, but over the years that has been given/taken over by the younger crowd. I don't really care, and the food is wonderful and I don't have to stress if it all got done and is tasty. Thank goodness my boys married girls that are good cooks or can do a decent job of the holiday dinners themselves.

I do miss my Grandma Toberman's chicken and noodles, and her wonderful spice cake. I miss Grandma Best's fried chicken and Angle food cake. I miss my Mom watching to smoke rise from the oven and saying, "Shit, the rolls!" My bother-in-law, Denny would always respond, "That's ok Margie. A little carbon helps filter out the system". I miss my cousin Larry saying grace as "Bless the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, first to the table gets the most". We have always been a bit irreverent. Funny, but irreverent.

So now it is on to trimming the house in green and red. Pretty lights, and bows. Only to have to take it all down again in a month.

As my husband and I came home from my son's Thanksgiving night, there were houses that already had their Christmas lights on and decorations out. I feel like Charlie Brown, "Good Grief"!

I worked at Hallmark stores for many years. I feel so bad for anyone who is working retail this time of year. While the season is supposed to be happy and merry, there are some real assholes out there that a retail person would gladly shoot. So, I try very had to be as nice as possible when shopping this time of year. I have been known to point out to someone that they are being an asshole, when I see some new cashier or service person near tears. Until you have waited on someone, tried to help someone, or have been a cashier; don't be mean. What ever is the problem is usually not their fault.

Now, on the gift giving. This year I have decided to give the silliest thing possible to each and everyone on my list. Something they may never use, but when they look at it they will know that it could only have been given by me.

My sister told me a day or two ago what she would like from me. Hello, that was a day or two ago. I don't remember what she said, so I asked her and she couldn't remember either. Soon, we not even remember why we are sending gifts to each other. Or we may call and not remember who or why we are calling. Old age is an interesting time. Mostly funny and an amazing journey.

Well, folks, one more month to go and my 60th year will be over. What, oh what should I write about then?

Halloween and Zombie Spiders

Zombie spiders have come to my front door just in time for Halloween. No, they are not toys nor made of plastic with tiny motors to make them come to life. These are real and very BIG spiders. Here is the tale of the Zombie spiders.

Last week I went out to get the mail. Here in rural Florida we still have mail boxes at the end of the drive way. Upon returning with my daily mess of junk mail and a bill or two, I noticed a huge spider in the bushes next to the door. Let me note here: I am insanely scared of all creepy crawlies. My brain tells me, "they are much smaller and more scared of you". My heart tells me, "oh crap, look at how big that bug is". An insect may not hurt me but it can make me hurt myself in trying to escape its presence.

Anyway, I declared war on this spider. Go for the chemicals. (Dow chemical would be so proud of me). I will admit that I do have a tendency to drown the subject way before any chemical has a chance to take affect. My attempt at the use of bug spray was useless. I could almost hear the spider laugh in a tiny little voice. Have you ever seen the original 1960's version of the "Fly"? If you have you will know the tiny little voice I heard. Only this time the voice was saying, "ha, I laugh at you and your chemicals".

Time to pull out anything that might stop this monster. You might know that, (in my mind), this spider is now getting larger by the moment.

I have a craft room off the screen porch for all my little projects. Aha! Spray glue! That should stop him in his tracks. A quick spray and that seemed to stop him. My turn to laugh and feel that I had won the battle.

Day two of the Zombie spider battle. Again, out to the mail box for the daily load of junk. Coming back to the door, I noticed (NO, IT CAN'T BE) the Zombie spider! Come back to life. This time I used spray fixative. Again this seemed to stop him in his tracks. His web now covered in an assortment of modern chemical warfare.

Whew! Finally victory on battlefield of the front door. Or at least I thought!

Day three of Zombie spider battle. Again, to the mail box and back to the door. I am doomed! As I looked to see if the Zombie was indeed dead, I noticed a movement on the other side of the door. Dang, there is now his Mom. Bigger, badder and much scarier. Zombie Mom spider seemed to be glaring at me with her multitude of eyes. ( I am not sure about that, but it seemed possible). I had lost the battle. I needed a Prince to my rescue.

My prince came in the guise of my Grandson. He laughed at my tale of the Zombie Spiders and simply took care of the matter with a shoe. Ha, I never thought of that!

Happy Halloween to all my friends and family. BOO!

Meditation with Basset Hound

Feeling a bit tense this morning, I thought a bit of meditation might be needed to calm my mind. Lyle Love-It, my Basset Hound, also need a bit of sunshine to calm his mind. So we went to the back yard. While he contemplated all the new smells on the yard, I contemplated on my need to calm my "monkey" mind.

After a bit of listening to my breathing and trying to bring some calm in my day. I sat and watched this lovely, funny, and sometimes very serious dog.

Lyle is a beautiful dog. Perfectly Basset. Anyone who has ever had the pleasure to be in the company of a Basset Hound, will tell you that they are unlike any other dog.

While he walked around, I sat and watched. His beautiful tail straight up with the white tip as his flag. His nose to the ground and those wonderful soft ears gathering up any scent of interest. Calmly, he investigated all that there was of interest in and around his area of the yard. I could almost see the information flowing up his nose to his brain.

What scents he recognized and the ones he didn't. There were scents that required him to scratch over with a flourish of dirt flying from his back feet.

Lyle discovered a strange noise this morning from the neighbors yard. They have just started to raise chickens. Wow, that really confused him and required loud howling to let them know that he was there. I could tell by the look on this face that he just couldn't figure out where that strange noise was coming from.

When he decided that the chickens were aware of him, he then had to come and tell me all about it. Lately, he has had to tell me a lot of things. He puts those big front paws in my lap and then has an entire language of growls, yips, and grumbles that he uses to tell me the latest news. He does this with a sincere and serious expression on his face. Maybe he thinks I do understand. It is really funny and it is hard not to laugh when he is being very serious. I say things like: " really? are you sure? that's good." Or other things one would say when having a conversation that you don't really understand. When he thinks I have been informed well enough he gets down and moves on to what he thinks is his next task. Usually, a nap.

I found that watching him was as calming as meditation. Plus, he gives such nice loves as he drapes those wonderful ears across my hands and looks at me like I am the only one who understands him.

Basset Hounds are truly wonderful dogs. My advice: get to know one and you will need little if any meditation.

October 2, 2011

There is finally a chill in the air here in North Florida. If you will remember, some time ago, I mused on where my internal temperature was the most comfortable. Well, when I went to bed last night I was aware that is would be cool this morning. I refused to turn the AC on for another night. Opened a window and turned on the fan. That didn't work so well. We have one very small window that opens in our bedroom, so it took most of the night to cool down. I awoke this morning and it was 48 outside. Ahhh, the wonderful cool. I opened the doors and turned the ceiling fans on to cool the rest of the house. Duh, that took about 10 minutes. It got down right cold. Shut the doors and turn the heat on to take the chill off. My attire went from tank and pj bottoms, to t-shirt and pj bottoms, to socks, jeans, and 3/4 length sleeve top. The heat is still on until the sun moves enough to warm the house. Then I will reverse the attire for the day. It is hard being temperature challenged.

Yesterday, I spent a wonderful afternoon with my daughter-in-law. We went to lunch and then shopping. We laughed and it was wonderful to spend some time with her.

While we were eating lunch we noticed a bunch of "Red Hat" ladies. I just don't get that society. They look so silly. Maybe that is the point. I wondered what would make someone join such a seemingly stupid group. I wondered if they were rejected cheerleaders, sorority girls past their prime, or just needed something to belong to. Maybe all the above.

One of the ladies seemed to be the one in charge. She wore a huge hat with very large feather plumes in it. She resembled a cartoon character. She was at the head of the table and seemed to be the one giving the instructions to the rest of the seemingly adoring fellow chickens. It was fascinating to watch these 60-something women.

I came home, put on a new CD of blues music, had a glass of wine, and played with my basset hound, Lyle Love-it. I truly think as I get older the more rebellious I become. I like that. I like the freedom of my age to say and react as I want. I like the fact that I don't really give a hoot who likes me and who doesn't. There seems to be a lot less pressure to conform at this age.

So maybe the "Red Hat" ladies are rebelling in their own way but I really like the fact that I don't need to dress up in silly clothes or belong to a group.

On to history of the year 1951. In October of 1951, "I Love Lucy" debuted on CBS. Now you can see reruns of Lucy somewhere on T.V. nearly everyday. Lucille Ball was wonderful comic, but more than that she was one of the first strong business women. She knew what worked and what didn't about her talent and her business.

Also pertaining to women of the 50's and 60's, a Mexican chemist, Luis E. Miramontes synthesized the first oral contraceptive. This would free women forever from the fear of unwanted pregnancies and free women to pursue and achieve things beyond their biology. It would also, allow families to grow at a rate that allowed for real success. Especially the middle class. Seems that some would like to take that away these days.

There was an alarming amount of Nuclear testing. Both the US and Russia racing to see who could destroy who first. The really scary part of all that is that now we have every rouge government in the world trying to attain the same capabilities. There are powerful idiots all over the world looking to promote their agendas with this capability. The USA has just as many crazies wanting that power as any other nation in the world. Scary!

Well, as we move into fall, the autumn of my 60th year, I am finding that there is a reflection of who I am, and wonder who I will become. There are so many possibilities. I do know however, that I will not be wearing purple with red, nor big silly hats with feathers. Ha, I can't even decide what I will wear the rest of damn day.

Happy October, everyone!

September catch up

September is nearly over. For most folks that means the weather is cooling and leaves are starting to change. Here, in North Florida, it is still very hot and very humid. Our fall comes near the end of October. The oak trees do shed their leaves and we get cooler days. The coolness will be a welcome relief this year. We have had a very very hot and humid summer.

Thank goodness, only one real hurricane threat this year. However, we do still have a month to go before we can rest easy.

September brought my oldest son's 40th birthday. He is an amazing man. Of course, I had to tease him a bit about being the big 40. He got me back in fine form. I called him on his birthday, and as soon as he answered there was no "hello", it was "so, how old do you feel right now". Yep, he was right. I find it hard to believe that I have a 40 year old son. Also hard is that my baby boy, is 34. Can that really be possible? That these two boys are now middle aged! When I look at them, all I can see are those little boy faces. I don't see the receding hairlines. I don't see the laugh lines around the eyes. I don't see that they are now so much taller than I am. I still see my boys. Thank goodness their laughter hasn't changed. I do love to hear them laugh. It is music to my heart.

September has also moved me one more month ahead in the journey of being 60. I've noticed that to see the guide on the television I have to put my glasses on and to hear someone on the phone I have to make sure the volume is at maximum. I walk a tad bit slower after a day of shopping. My stomach that once loved tacos or a bowl of popcorn before bed, now engages my brain with the question of, "really? you want this now or major heartburn later".

I did learn that I can still dance. Last week as I was walking back from our mail box a snake slithered in front of me. Oh you should have seen the "oh crap a snake" dance I did in my front yard. I haven't moved that fast for a very long time. I am sure my neighbors got a chuckle out of it. No one has admitted to seeing it though.

September has been quiet. One more month to put away on my journey.

Books and My Generation

I've been thinking about my love of books and that what we read says exactly who we really are. Also, that we display our books for visitors to see, to make the statement of who we are.

I looked at the books on my bookshelves and understood that they really say who I am.

From left to right on my books are as follows:

Barrack Obama:

The Audacity of Hope

Edward Rutherford:

The Forest

London

The Princes of Ireland

The Rebels of Ireland

Maureen Dowd:

Bushworld

Tom Robbins:

Villa Incognito

Jitterbug Perfume

and on my Kindle: B is for Beer

Zen Gardens

Jimmy Buffett:

Swine Not

Salty Piece of Land

Michael Moore:

Dude, Where's My Country

P. J. O'Rourke

Eat the Rich

All The Trouble In The World

Age and Guile

Molly Ivins

Who Let The Dogs In

David Wrobleske

The Story of Edgar Sawtelle

Gregory McGuire:

Wicked

Ken Follett:

Pillars of the Earth

World Without End

Lewis Black:

Me Of Little Faith

John Kennedy Toole:

Confederacy of Dunces

David Sedaris:

Naked

Augusten Burroughs:

Running with Scissors

Ann-Marie MacDonald:

Fall On Your Knees

Frank McCourt:

Angela's Ashes

Christopher Paolini:

The Eragon Series

Wally Lamb:

I know This Much Is True

Now, that is just one bookcase. It is the most prominent one. The one that everyone that would visit my home would see. So what does it say about me?

I believe that it says that I am definitely a left-wing liberal, that I enjoy humor, but that I love history, and just a damn good story.

I have a kindle e-reader and I do enjoy it. However, it has not deterred my love of real Books. I usually get my books from second-hand stores or when the library has a book sale. Some are given to me, there is never a better gift than a book.

I also believe that my choice in books shows that I still believe in a world without war, prejudice, injustice, and equality for all people. Next to my bed I keep a copy of "Zen Miracles" and it is my most valued book. I can look at a page or two and know that I am indeed the Captain of who I am. No one else, no mythic being, no political idealism, just my own mind.

One other thing before I close. I've been listening to all this silliness going around in the country. I think my generation (or at least some) owe our children and grandchildren an apology. We grew up thinking we could achieve a world without wars, without racism or sexism. We failed miserably. Some of my generation have back peddled to the 1950's. Lost their way, or prayed to the almighty dollar sign. I, for one, will keep up the good fight and hope that my kids and grandchildren will know that some of my generation stood for something greater than ourselves.

The Illinois State Fair was just a week ago and I am thinking how much I would love to go to the Fair just one more time in my life.

The State Fair was something that our family never missed. It meant getting everyone together and heading to Springfield for an entire day. We arrived as the gates were opening and staked out a couple of tables and plenty of chairs in the Farm Bureau tent. It was located behind the Dairy Building. This was a good place to meet and always used as the center of the Fair day. Grandma, Grandpa, Mom, or Dad would be there waiting for us at the end of the day for the journey home.

The Dairy Building was a wonderful place. There was always a sculpture made out of butter. Usually, a full size cow made of Butter. I always wondered how long it took to sculpt it and how much butter was used. One other thing about the Dairy Building was the cheese sandwiches and chocolate milk. I have never found a cheese that was that full of flavor, or colder chocolate milk.

After the visit to the Dairy Building we were off to see the cows, pigs, chickens, and rabbits. However, the favorite of Daddy's and mine were the mules. What wonderful animals they are. There is such intelligence in their eyes. I've always wanted a mule not to work, but for a pet.

Next, it was off to look at all the new farm equipment. Shiny new John Deere tractors, the latest combines and corn pickers. You could see the wishes rolling of Grandpa, Daddy, and Uncle Wayne.

There was a visit to the 4-H Building to see all the exhibits of the 4-H kids. Always fun to see the projects they came up with and if you knew anyone who had won a Blue ribbon.

Next, it was off to the Exposition Building. This building contained all the handiwork of the people of Illinois. Pies, Cakes, canning jars full of fruits and vegetables, handmade quilts. Wonderful to see the talent of the people of Illinois.

One year when I was very little, my sister and a friend took me to ride the rides when a huge rain storm came up. We got lost and ended up at the fire station. I remember that a kind fireman wrapped me in his coat and took us to the Farm Bureau tent to find Mom and Dad. I will never forget how scared we were.

In later years, as teens, we would go to the Fair to ride the carnival rides in an area known as "Happy Hollow". Also, to see the Grandstand Show and fireworks that followed. I got to see "Paul Revere and the Raiders", "The Beach Boys" and several other 60's groups there. Always great fun!

I've not been to the fair in over 40 years now, but I sure would like a cheese sandwich, chocolate milk and see a few mules again.

If you get to go to a State Fair don't pass up the opportunity. You never know what magic they really are.

August 11, 2011

The heat continues to zap the life out of nearly everything here in North Florida. The afternoons are timed by the 3 p.m. thunderstorms. Survival depends on air conditioning and fans.

I couldn't find much happening in August of 1951. So, I thought I would ramble on a few things that I have had on my tiny little mind.

I urge all to read the book or, at the very least, to see the movie; "The Help". It is wonderful novel that shows a unique side to "domestic" help, that the majority of people might not think about.

After reading this wonderful book, I got to thinking about how I was brought up to interact with different races of people.

My mother was the original "Archie Bunker". I guess her ranting never took with my sister and I. I tried very hard to raise my boys so that they wouldn't judge folks by the color of their skin, nationality, or gender. One son learned the lesson, one son still has issues with some of different color or nationality, but he would never be mean or hateful to anyone, because he is a kind and gentle soul.

Growing up in a small southern Illinois town didn't give for much interaction with anyone from a different race. There were black families, but due to the time in history, I guess I didn't really give it any thought, until I was in high school. Even then I don't remember thinking about race relations that much.

I knew what was happening in the south was wrong, but like so many folks today, it didn't seem to affect me, so I just didn't think about it.

When the Equal Rights Movement started, that is when I became more aware of all inequalities. The Women's Movement spoke to me in ways that nothing else ever had. I guess I could see how women had been second class citizens and were indoctrinated to believe that we needed to marry, have children, and that was it! The whole Cinderella myth. What I wanted to know was, what happened to Cinderella when her kids moved out, or her husband left her for Snow White? What if Cinderella didn't find a Prince Charming but a frog? What if Cinderella found that she wanted the whole kingdom and to heck with Prince Charming? No one could answer that until the women's movement came along.

Now, I see things like the "Bachelorette, The Real Housewives of (you put in the place name), Toddlers and Tiaras, " etc. What, just what, are we teaching our daughters and granddaughters? Also, what kind of messages are being sent to our sons and grandsons?

Then we have the ultra right-wing, trying to put us all back in the 50's. What the hell is that all about?

Now, don't get me wrong, I am a housewife and I love being at home. However, when I am home, I am not cleaning and cooking for 24/7. I get a lot of art work done, and just have the freedom to do what I want, when I want. I love having the freedom and space. It seems that at 60 I am just discovering who I am. It is a wonderful thing.

I admit that I do still see the colors and nationalities, but I try with all I have to ignore those distinctions. I encourage my grandchildren to see people as just people. I hope and pray that at some point in the future there will be no need to fight for anyone's rights.

Crazy Days

The past week has been really strange. The dog days of summer are upon us, but someone has informed my dogs ( Lilly Belle and Lyle Love-It ) that the best place to be is in the house with Mom. This requires me to become a dog wrangler. Lilly hates Lyle, but Lyle loves Lilly. I have no children, but still have to deal with baby gates.

The dog days of summer also brings daily afternoon storms to Florida. You can nearly set your watch by them. Anywhere around 3p.m. and 4p.m., it will assuredly rain, if not out an out thunderstorm with crazy winds and monsoon rains.

These daily storms also play havoc with the electrical and phone systems of the house. About two weeks ago, my phone started with static and random ringing or not ringing at all. I went to their web site and decided to do an online chat with a tech, to see if I could solve the problem without having someone come to the house. Now, if you've seen the commercial for a credit card company and the tech named "Peggy" then you will know my frustration and the near hysterical laughter provided to me via "Windstream". As I typed my problem into the little slot provided for the online chat, I see this typed: "Hello, my name is Peggy. How can I help you today?". I was laughing so hard that I couldn't type anymore.

Next, thing is that I must call them. So I call from a kindly neighbors house and Windstream sends out a fella to fix the phones. The minute he opens the box several wasps fly out. Wasps have a bad attitude problem. I think they are like Republicans, teenagers, and (yes) old ladies just damn angry all the time.

Finally, phone fixed. Then it is on to a neighborhood meeting about an access road (which no one really cares about) and maybe forming a neighborhood watch. We have had some strange goings on in the neighborhood, so it might be a good idea to know who the neighbors are and just to keep an eye out.

A representative from the County Sheriffs Dept. was supposed to come and relay information on setting up such a watch. Unfortunately, the local Sheriffs Office is about 30 miles away, and there is not a lot of concern about the citizens of our neighborhood. The representative just didn't show up. Makes me feel very safe.

Saturday night, after my husband had gone to bed, I hear what sounds like a loud firecracker go off just outside the back door, thinking someone had some leftover fireworks I just continue watching my television program and then off to bed. The next morning, my husband goes to town to get a newspaper and the required Sunday morning doughnuts for breakfast. Our truck needed a small repair and a tire aired up, so he pulled into the back yard. Low and behold, the entire top of a large tree had fallen out and it just missed our back deck. So, it was not a firecracker, but the tree. Guess, from now on when I hear something out of the ordinary I will take the time and effort to look out and try to determine the source.

This got me to thinking about the neighborhood watch thing. I guess, I wouldn't be very good at it. I don't seem to really care about strange noises and such. The neighbors might not feel any safer with me in their group.

The dog days of summer have put me in a stupor. Ready for some cooler days or a very large pitcher of Margaritas in the blender, Jimmy Buffett on the stereo, me and Lyle Love-It on the screen porch. This could be one of the reasons for my lack of attention to things in the neighborhood. If nothing else, the margaritas may make me see things to report to the Neighborhood Watch.

Have a wonderful week all my friends and family.

July 27th, 2011

Today is Don and mine wedding anniversary, we have been married for five years. I am always amazed that we seem to make this work no matter what.

We have both had previous marriages that for one reason or another didn't work out. Maybe, those marriages taught us something. I don't really know.

While Don is not my first love. You know the one that makes you hear bells and all that other stuff. He is the one that no matter what, I know will be there for me. He is my rock and my soft place to land when all seems to falling apart.

I guess I really can't ask for more and I really don't want more than he already is: Just my Don.

July 2011

July 13, 2011: Oh My God, it is so dang hot! It is nearly like having a "hot flash", except it just doesn't go away.

I've found that as I get older, it is harder to adjust my inner core to extremes of hot and cold. Living in Florida, anything below 70 degrees is sock and long sleeves for me. Anything above 73 degrees is "strip it all off" weather. So as you can see, I am limited to a few degrees of change. I hope as the years pass that the margin doesn't decrease any more, because I will be very confused about proper attire for the day. I don't want to be one of those old ladies that has to wear socks with sandals.

I have also found that I perspire a lot more than before. As with "hot flashes", my face seems to take the brunt of the sweat. OK, so some time soon, I expect to see myself with socks, sandals, and a terry cloth head band. What a lovely sight that would be!

I just don't remember ever being this dependent on Air Conditioning. When I was little, our family had a huge window fan that pulled cool air into the house. I remember, on sultry summer nights, there would be a pallet made on the floor in front of the front door and we would sleep there. Odd, people don't know what a pallet is anymore, or make them on the floor. I would bet that if you asked anyone under 50 they wouldn't have a clue as to what your were talking about if you said, "I made a pallet on the floor".

The other thing about summer heat is that even though it is unbearable at 60, I still look forward to warm days and nights. I seem to have this fantasy about enjoying the summer evenings on the porch. People just don't sit on the porch anymore. Or there are planned communities that emulate the old neighborhoods, where it is fashionable to sit on the front porch. Disney has one in Orlando. I don't like that you have to plan to have a real neighborhood. It is a shame that folks just don't enjoy their communities, and neighborhoods.

So, grab a glass of lemonade or a beer, and go sit on the front porch and give folks something to talk about. Like, did you see that old woman, with the socks on with her sandals, sitting on her front porch.

July 1, 2011

July has arrived. The heat and humidity is now a fact of life. It seems a good time to celebrate our nation's birthday, however, I prefer to just celebrate my youngest son's birthday. He is much more important to me.

I look at this boy (man) and am truly amazed by him.

Timothy, from day one, has been a smile in my heart. He has always seems to have a smile within him and a sense of goodwill that is unbounded. So, I am wishing him a wonderful day. As, I talked to him this morning, his daughter was hugging him and I could hear her laughter. That is what I remember most from his childhood, the hugs. Nothing better.

So, yes, we are celebrating our Nation's birthday as well. While we have the most wonderful nation, I see that those on the right side of the debate want to destroy all that has made it one of the best countries in the world. Astounds me.

This will be 60 years of enjoying the 4th of July. Mostly, I remember family get togethers. At Grandma and Grandpa Best's farm. There would be the most wonder fried chicken. I don't know how Grandma did it, but the chicken was perfection. At the end of the evening, there was homemade ice cream and a cake. Or watermelon. Now, you have to understand, for 60 years, I've tried to like watermelon. Every summer I convince myself that this will be the summer that I will finally understand the wonderfulness of the melon. Then, I try to eat it. Ugh, the smell, the texture, the taste, is all wrong. Do you think that makes me nearly un-American?

Another 4th memory is with my sister and her family. There were battles with the next door neighbors. They would fly the Confederate flag and we would fly the Stars and Stripes. Whoever, using whatever means possible, stole the others flag won the bragging rights. Now, these battles would get out of hand sometimes, depending on the amount of beer consumed. Also a bit dangerous. Firing bottle rockets at the opposition camp, sent many a running for their lives.

Another 4th memory, is my hometowns fireworks celebration. It was always held at the lake. The "audience" would sit on the rolling hills surrounding one side of the lake and the fire department would be on the other side of the lake, at the Country club to fire off the display. And every year they would catch some part of the woods around them on fire. Almost a tradition in irony.

The celebration still continues in a more calm way now. My niece saves her Christmas tree for the 4th and it is entwined with thousand of firecrackers. Just at the right moment it is set a blaze. Tree recycled for yet another year. I wish I could be in Illinois one more time for the 4th. It is such fun.

My 4th will be very quiet. Probably watch the fireworks on T.V., as most of northern Florida has been on fire for a couple of months, no fireworks are allowed.

I will also hope that this year brings an end to two made up wars, and peace. All we need is love.

Education (yes, again)!

June 30, 1951 the NAACP begins their push against segregation in the public school systems. With some success the goal has been met, however, it all depends on how deeply you look.

Here in Florida and much of the south, there are private schools that cater to a segregation of sorts. Some are Christian schools, others are just very private and uppity. There are those districts, that because of the area they are in, are afforded to only those children whose parents live in mini-mansions, gated communities. Other less fortunate kids are stuck with inner-city schools that continually fail to perform to some perceived goal. These schools are not supported by a wealthy tax base.

So, I guess it is how you look at the topic of segregation to see if the lofty goals of each child getting their deserved education really has taken place in the last 60 years. I don't think it has.

60 years of trying to solve larger questions than the human mind can comprehend. Until, all people are seen as equals, treated as equals, true goals will never happen.

As a 60 year old, I don't know why such things bother me. My kids are grown and out of the school system, even my grandchildren are nearly done with the Public education system. None the less, it does indeed bother me. Every child should be given the opportunity to succeed, no matter his economic standing. Arrrrgh! I want to scream!

At 60 years of age, I think I see the injustice more clearly. Not just of education, but basic human rights.

Yet, I watch the rants of the Right and am amazed at the narrow little minds that prevail in the world.

Please, someone tell me that I am not the only one who sees that to survive, we must now think of humanity and not nationality, religion, or gender.

Ahhh, the rants of an old woman!

Last day of school

Today is the last day of school for my grandkids. No more getting up early, no more stresses about classes, grades or peers. An entire summer before them.

I was remembering what the last day of school was like for me. In grade school, there was always the class picnic. Everyone brought a lunch to school and we went to the park for the afternoon and played games, such as Red Rover, Tag, and such. The school always provided the Orange Soda. Today, I can not stand Orange soda. It reminds of school picnics.

I hope my grands have some wonderful memories of the past year. Something to take away and store in their memories about the year and what they have accomplished.

Memories of their school years will be vastly different from the 50's when I was in school. The learning and school experience is very different. The summers are vastly different from the 50's. It all seems so very structured now. Seems so little freedom is now given to kids. I wonder how much more structured my youngest granddaughters school years will be. Worries me.

I've known kids that are home schooled and yes, they have more freedom, but somehow it seems, that not a lot of learning happens. So I don't think that is the solution to giving our kids more freedom or learning.

I guess if I could figure this all out I would win an Education prize of some sort. No one seems to be really thinking about kids as people. As well, rounded people. While we emphasize math, science ,and literature, we seem to have lost focus on Art and Music. I would like to see a inclusion of all things into schools. I would start with history. If you are going to teach about the French Revolution, include not just the history, but the art, the music, the math, the science, etc. of that period.

Oh well, I hope my grands have a wonderful summer. Hope my readers also have a wonderful summer.

Remember, your last days of school years with fondness.

June 1,2011

It is lovely this morning. Sun is shining and so far it isn't very hot. Not much was happening in 1951 on this day. The first titanium plant opened in Henderson, Nev.. I guess that is worth mentioning for those of you who care about such things.

I remember, June, as being the first full month of summer vacation. Summers filled with swimming and playing. I don't even remember thinking about anything else. There were bike rides, friends, and just having fun.

This summer, one of my Granddaughters, will be in Drivers Education. While I love the woman she is growing into, I sure miss that little girl that she was. Another Granddaughter, is off to several camps and serving communities through her church. Again, I can see them both swirling in fancy dresses for a wedding, and being thrilled that the dresses swished. Sweet cherub faces aglow with little girl things. Yet, there still is one Granddaughter to discover swirling fancy dresses, dolls, and such.

One Grandson (now all grown up) is off doing Army stuff. He is fulfilling a dream and I wish him well. But I miss the sweet little boy that was always thrilled to see Grandma. Another Grandson has a few jobs here and there to keep him busy, but he did tell me that he would like to spend most of his summer with me. I know that would last about a week, as I don't have a gaming system, or first run movies on the t.v., but I would love to have him here.

I remember spending time at my Uncle Wayne's farm in central Illinois. Oh, it was truly magical for me. My cousin, Larry, had horses and I would spend lots of time talking to his horse "Rascal". My cousin Linda was, to my way of thinking, beautiful and wonderful. Uncle Wayne let me hang out with him, ride the tractor and help build a fence around the farm. My Aunt Geraldine, was a wonderful cook and I helped (?) there. There was always something wonderful going on at their house.

Well, here is to summer childhood memories. I hope my readers have their own

May 2011

Well, we were all supposed to be "raptured" yesterday. I'm still here and all my favorite folks are still here, as are all my favorite dogs. Guess, maybe, they had it all wrong. This prediction was supposedly based on mathematical predictions from the Bible. I was never any good at math, so like me maybe they just did the math wrong.

The same folks predicting this "end of the world" scenario also got it wrong back in the 90's. I do hope that he/she doesn't try again. I guess, though, as long as there are fools, someone will take advantage and offer to be the bigger fool.

I did like all the anti-rapture stuff on the internet. Some of it was just to funny.

So now we move on the end of world scenario of the Mayans. I tend to think that they just couldn't (again with the math) figure out what came after 2012, or they ran out of space on the rock calendar they were using to keep time.

There have always been predictions of the end of the earth and it certainly won't end with this silliness.

Seems to me the more likely scenario is that we will be our own demise. Our minds and beliefs are narrow. Until we can see the "big" picture we are surely doomed.

So here we go on to 2012 and the hope that the Mayans were just as bad at math as I am.

May 15, 2011

Beautiful morning. The Endeavor Space Shuttle launched this morning. Usually, I can see it streak across the sky but I missed it this morning.

The Endeavor will resupply the Space Station and run physics experiments on the origins of the universe while in space.

I got to thinking about the space program and how my generation is the first to experience the wonders of space travel.

Sputnik was launched on Oct. 4, 1957. I was six and remember sitting on the trunk of our 1951 Ford watching it fly across the sky. My Dad was thrilled to see it. I thought it looked like a falling star and wondered if I should make a wish on it.

When I was a senior in high school, NASA landed astronauts on the moon. I remember watching it on television. It seemed miraculous that they really had gone to the moon.

Now the last of the shuttle missions has happened in my 60th year. I do wonder what will come next. I hope that we will never give up the exploration of space. I guess my Star Trek is showing. I really would like to know what is out there. I may never know, but hopefully my grandchildren or great-grandchildren will know.

May 9, 2011 Mother's Day

What a lovely day. Sun is shining and it is warm. It is Mother's Day, so I thought I would take this opportunity to write about Moms.

My Mom was a combination of strength, love, and humor. My Dad was a truck driver and on the road a lot. So it was up to Mom to raise three kids, keep everything going and try not to crack under the pressure. She was also the main caretaker for her mother. Not an easy task in any of it.

I would say that she was tough but I do believe that we all knew that she loved us.

Her humor was incredible. She would laugh at the littlest things and could laugh at herself as well. She also taught us three to laugh. One of her gifts to us. Carole, Jim, and I are always finding something to bring a smile and a laugh. And we certainly laugh at ourselves.

She taught us to be passionate about our beliefs. She was a woman who was not afraid to stand up for herself, her kids, or her beliefs.

A born Democrat, and successfully, made both of her daughters into strong Democrats. The son, got wrapped up in all the hate that the Republican party adheres to, so she lost her battle with that one. She wasn't one to back down when it came to politics or her beliefs.

She died at a very young age, 54. It seems incredible that she has been gone for nearly 40 years. I miss her, but I don't think she would have enjoyed becoming a very old woman. So, while death took her young, maybe that is the way she would have preferred to be remembered.

Now with kids and grandchildren of my own, I find that I compare myself to her. She knew that being a parent was not a popularity contest. I find that some that I know think parenthood is just that. It never works. So I have said to my boys and grands that, I am not in this to be popular. I am here to love them and that is the bottom line.

Oh, I've had my boys tell me they hated me. And my reply was always, "Well, I love you". They have pointed out that I was stupid, only to find out that this was not necessarily the case. Especially, when they had their own children. Amazing, how smart your own parents get once you have kids of your own.

But, I've had my boys' love and I know it. They have always proven it in little ways. A hug or a peck on the cheek. A phone call when they haven't talked to me in a while. The sparkle in their eyes when I can make them laugh. It is all there. Wrapped in two men's eyes. A sparkle that brings an untold warmth and love to my heart.

You will never know how much your Mom loves you until you have loved your own children. Sometimes it's to late to let Mom know that you learned this lesson. If your Mom is still with you, let her know everyday that you love her.

The Royal Wedding

I got up at 4:30a.m. to watch the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Cate Middleton. I usually get up about this time to go to the bathroom for the umpteenth time during the night. It was lovely. What was sad was that Prince William's mother was not there. I hated it for him. He looked every bit the Prince. Handsome in his military uniform.

It was a lovely wedding. Cate looked wonderful. Not over the top, just classic. She is a lovely girl.

I hope that the fates will be with them and they have a long and wonderful life together.

A few observances about the people attending the wedding. Queen Elizabeth looked regal in her yellow outfit, but Prince Phillip just looked old and grouchy. Prince Charles looked his dowdy self and Camilia just as bad. I really don't like that woman, and I don't think Charles should ever become king. I really don't like the man. But not being British I guess we have no say in the matter.

Weddings are odd celebrations. It is all to stressful and silly. My second wedding was wonderful. A warm beach at sunset with just a few family and friends. Perfect. My first wedding was just to stressful and silly. No, there won't be anymore for me.

Now, I will just wait on my Grandchildren. My granddaughters will be beautiful brides. They are truly wonderful girls and will grow into marvelous women. I just marvel at them. They are smart, funny, loving and caring girls. The grandsons are handsome and caring. They will make wonderful husbands. Their dad has set a good example for them.

April is almost over. May will soon bring warmer temperatures and lazy days. We will all be looking forward to summer.

All of us should take time to notice the world as it blooms to life.

April 20th, 2011

Another lovely day on tap here in Florida. It will be the perfect weather for Easter, warm and sunny.

The first Easter I remember was in a tiny little town in Illinois. I was fascinated with my Easter hat. It was a boater style with lace ruffles all around it and a navy blue ribbon that flowed down the back. I had a Navy blue spring coat and the essential white gloves. I do remember thinking that I was very pretty in my Easter outfit, but that the hat hurt my head. I think that was the last time I wore a hat. Ladies, just don't wear hats anymore.

Easter really doesn't hold that much fascination for me now. I find that it is a sad story with an OK happy ending. I really think the writers should have had a better ending. Now, I watch "Jesus Christ Superstar" and call it a good Easter. Although, I do love the "Peeps" candy and a chocolate bunny or two.

I've had the big Easter dinners and enjoyed having everyone here.. I remember dinners at Grandma Best's house. It was always fun. I do remember the year that Grandma asked my cousin Larry to say grace. Larry's response was "Bless the Father, Son and Holy Ghost. First to the table gets the most". I thought Grandma was going to fall out of her chair. It was hard to rattle Grandma, but this came the closest I've ever seen. Very funny!

While I do not subscribe to the Christian Faith, I do find it sad that some children today don't even know what Easter is celebrating according to that Faith. We should be aware of all Faith celebrations.

This year I will enjoy the company of Lyle Love-It and Lillie Belle. We will enjoy the day with a nice long nap and maybe a Peep for me and a dog bone for them.

I have looked at the comments on my last post. Seems to have upset some folks. I guess that is the way of the written word. Everyone has their critics. That is the first lesson one should learn in the world of publishing. Some of the critics will be fair and some will just be mean and ugly. Such is the nature of some people. "In life, think of mean people like sandpaper. They may scratch and hurt you, but in the end you come out smooth and polished and the mean person is just worn and ugly". I guess this is how I have to consider those critics.

Everyone, have a lovely and blessed Easter.

April

Well, another lovely day here. I saw a Bunny early this morning sprint across the yard. My Lyle Love-It missed it. He is not the most aware dog in the world.

Got an comment on the last bit of blog. Oh well, such is the life of the written word. I guess that is just the way it goes for commenting on life.

This month in 1951 found Gen. McArthur being fired. I do wish we could fire a bunch of the Military Advisors we have now. We are losing a lot in this made up war. Time gather all our toys and go home.

The book "A Tree Grows In Brooklyn" was released in April of 1951. It is a lovely little book that all teen girls should read.

We tested two bombs in April of 1951. What a shame that we thought this would make us safer. We now know that it is not safer and that any energy derived from this process is really not safe. I keep waiting for Godzilla to emerge from the Pacific Ocean. While I feel bad for the Japanese people, you think they would have known that Nuclear energy is a bad thing. We already proved that to them. So I guess in the end we are to blame for all this mess.

In April of 1961 Bob Dylan debuted at a club in Greenwich Village. Hard to fathom that he is still around making music. A true poet of our times.

Well, Lyle is knocking on the door. He needs something. Maybe he will sing to me or at the very least give me that look of love. At the end, I guess a dogs love is as good as any. At least I don't have to worry about my thoughts to him. He loves me unconditionally.

April 6

The sun is shining after a few days of clouds and rain. It will be a lovely weekend. So, here are my thoughts on this lovely morning.

In light of all the craziness about the Federal Budget, I looked to find out what "tan Man" John Baynor makes in a salary. Holy crap, $223,500. No, wonder he doesn't want to tax the rich. Now this is just his salary, it doesn't take in to account all the other little under the table deals he has going on. Harry Reid employs 332 folks. What's the deal with that? It takes all these folks for one little old man to keep his poop in a group. Good grief! And we wonder why we are in such a mess. I say "clean your own damn house first" then come after the public.

Also, I looked to see what was happening in April of 1951. Julius and Ethel Rosenburg were sentenced to death for allegedly spying. I truly think that they were set up.

The Federal debt was 255.3 billion dollars. But then, we had just come out of WWII, and we were now going into Korea for the first of many "police" actions. Right, and we all know how well those have worked for us.

Unemployment was 5.3 percent. I wonder if that included any of the women who now were back home after the war effort didn't need them anymore.

Yul Brynner stepped into the Broadway production of the "King and I". One of my favorites. I would have danced across the world with him. An amazing performance and an incredibly sexy man.

Oh, and Libya gained its independence in Dec. of 1951. Ha, again, we all know were that one went. We installed a puppet Dictator and that has come back to bite us in the butt. Ahhhh, Karma!

Karma

It is raining today and has cooled down. A good day for reflecting on the karma. Karma is that which should guide your life. I do believe that if you do what you can to lead a good life then your Karma will be ok. Then there is that old adage that "you reap what you sow" or that Karma will come back to give what your gave. This lesson has been very clear in the last few months.

I was not a good daughter to my Dad for a few years. I choose to disappear and really didn't give a thought to how that disconnection affected him. I just didn't want to deal with anyone or anything at this low point in my life. The upside is that there was a reconnection and it was wonderful.

This came back to bite me, when an important person in my life decided to disconnect from me. She has disconnected from a lot of people in her life. Now it seems that she is learning that karma can come back to bite you. She has found that you cannot be the center of everyone's life and that you cannot manipulate what you want others to do. I do hope that at some point, (maybe when she is 60), she learns this valuable lesson.

As I said yesterday, all I really need is a Basset song. True unconditional love. We all need to learn this above all else.

April has arrived in North Florida with warm temps and some rain. This morning the sun is shining in my eyes as I attempt to write something that is not rubbish.

My dear husband, Don, has finally been called back to work. It has been nearly a year since a Union job has become available. Thank goodness the economy is looking better. Maybe, we are starting to see the come back of good things.

So, here I am in quiet solitude. Oops, no not really. Lyle Love-It (the basset hound) has just knocked on the door with his morning, "hey, come love me and feed me and call me Lyle". He is so dang funny and sweet at the same time. However, he seems to think that I am here only to do his bidding. We need to have a long talk about who is the human owner and the dog. Maybe the word owner is not the word to be used. He picked me as much as I picked him. So there really is no ownership involved in our relationship. Then again, I am sure he thinks he is my owner. It is truly a dog/slave relationship. Ha, guess who the slave is? Yep, that would be me.

I have found that at 60 years of age, I really don't mind being owned by my dog. He doesn't complain much and he is always ready for a love, a song, walk, or "hey, look at how silly I can be". I think he has the trick to a good life. Always be ready for a love, a song, a walk, or some silliness. There really is so little else that matters in life.

I think I'll take his advice and take a good long nap.

March 29th

Another long while since I've added anything. My mind has been in a fog for a couple of weeks.

I've noticed, today, how we hang on to material things that really don't mean anything to anyone but ourselves. What brought on this thought? Well, my dear love of a husband, Don, has been out of work for some time and he has run out of things to keep him occupied. (My list of honey-dos isn't on the priority of things to do). So he has been rummaging around the house looking for some remote controllers for the T.V.'s. We have decided to get rid of Dish Network until he goes back to work. Essentially, he has torn every room in the house apart. In the process of all this looking for remotes he has found lots of stuff that was left here by his Dad and Mom. I understand that they are both deceased, but I truly don't believe that we have to keep every scrap of paper, dish, pans, etc. that they owned. When my Daddy passed I came away with lovely memories and a small King Edward Cigar box of things that really mean something to me. I didn't need a whole pile of stuff just because it was Dad's.

Also, with all this rummaging around the house, he leaves the lights on and doors open to every room where he has been.Drags all the perceived treasures out to the dining room table. Granted, we have a very large table. He made it for me and it is lovely. Will seat 10 comfortably. Which means that most of the time it is just me and him at one end of the table. Very little room needed for the two of us. It is now covered in what I deem to be crap.

It really makes me laugh. I would gladly pull up a huge dump truck and start pitching stuff in to be hauled away. Another suggestion I had was that we have a huge rummage sale. We could use the cash right now. But that idea was met with utter outrage that I would even contemplate selling or trashing stff like early 50's ugly plastic Butterflies.

I am so hoping that my kids will be sensible about the few things that I deem to be mine. There really isn't a thing that should be kept that I have acquired over the years.

Again, we are back to the place where I am willing to subtract from my life. I just don't want to dust any of this stuff any more or try to find a place to put it all. Let alone, leave it all for my kids to have to sort through.

The only thing that really matters are memories. I have some wonderful ones of my Mom and Dad, my sister and brother, my kids and grandkids. What more could there possibly be?

Childhood favorites

The Cartoon Network is now running Loony Toons again. I am so excited. There is nothing like Bugs Bunny and company to make me giggle.

Loony Toons are one thing that no matter my age, I will always love. My favorite one is the one where Bugs finds himself at a Bullfight. The Bull in the cartoon has the best facial expressions ever. I have seen this one a million times and it still just makes me laugh until near pain.

I know that these cartoons are considered "harmful, violent, and etc." but I don't believe that our generation is any the worse off for having laughed at them. I can hardly watch todays cartoon shows that my grandchildren like, they are so stupid and contrived.

Also, I believe that my generation learned a lot about classical music from cartoons. Bugs and Elmer in an opera, the frustrated Conductor in a couple of other cartoons. Even the "Lone Ranger" used "William Tell Overture."

The cartoons today use little if any music.

I am recording all the Bugs I can for now, and I am sure I will watch them over and over and over when I need a laugh.

Wonderful Day to Paint

It has been a lovely sunny warm day. I started a Mandala Circle on the screen porch yesterday. What fun! I have found that my creative soul is very happy with paint on my hands and an idea in my heart and head.

Maybe it was a death of someone from my happy days of being a little girl that spawned this creative flow. A woman who's son was my age, passed away a few days ago. Her son and I were nearly inseparable when we very little. She was just a farm wife and a mom, but what a wonderful woman she was. She taught Sunday School at a tiny church in a tiny town in Illinois. She taught me the song, "This Little Light of Mine". She will never know how comforting that little song had become to me. Yes, it is a Christian song, but I think of it more as a human song. When things get tough, my Little Light, shines the brightest. I will miss the thought that given a real need I could have visited with her. Even though I hadn't seen her in many, many years, it was a comforting thought that she would still be there. I guess, in a sense she will always be with me, in my heart and memories. I hope that some child would think of me that way. What a wonderful thing, to be the "light" for some child.

March 9, 2011

Rain, rain, rain and more rain. The Lyle Love-It will be sad as he won't be able to go outside today. The puddles are deeper than he is tall.

My youngest son, Timothy, posted on his Facebook page a song and a pondering of what it will be like when his girls are grown and gone. Yes, my dear son, it is sad and very quiet. I miss my boys laughter most of all. Tim and Ian have very distinctive laughs and it is like music to my ears to hear. I also love to hear my grandchildren giggle. It as though a bell were tinkling in Heaven. I hope he and Ian get to hear the laughter of their grandkids. Maybe then they will understand just how wonderful it is to hear.

I have found that at 60 a person disappears. It is easy to forget that you exist. That you have thoughts, feelings and still love passionately. I guess with the gray hair you start to fade as a person, until you become a ghost. Most people look right past you and dismiss anything you might voice an opinion about. Ha, maybe that is why we are louder in our old age. We just want someone to fucking listen and not dismiss our thoughts.

It is odd this disappearing act that I am in right now. I've always fantasied about having the ability to disappear. But I wanted it to be on my terms, at will. This is not how it was supposed to go. Guess, that will teach me to be careful what I wish for.

I would really like to go to the ocean today and watch the waves. I need the centering that the ocean brings.

Hope everyone has a good day.

Ramblings in March

Sun is shining outside, but I am not feeling it. It is time to subtract. Painful, but what is left in life from the 60's but to let go those that wish to cause pain. Goodbye.

My dog, Lyle Love-It is always happy to see me. Guess that is all I really need now. His smile is worth so much more than a lot of people or things in my life.

Ok, so much for bemoaning life as it is right now.

I am on a rampage about the new Governor of Florida. He, like the rest of the Republican idiots voted into office this last fall, is taking on Education and Unions. I do believe that they want us to be stupid so that control will fall, even more, into the hands of the repulsive rich right. Ugh!

At the same time, I am wondering where, oh where is the left and why are they not stepping up to stop this insanity? Hopefully, come elections of 2012, they will come out of the woodwork and cause a stand against this idiocy.

The age of 60 has found me pondering who and what are really important. Certainly, those that can see beyond their own needs and those who value art, music, education are important. I just don't get those that can't get beyond themselves.

Oh, to those who are wondering.......I did get my new license and Social Security card. I am a real citizen again. Is that a good thing? I guess, as I can now drive and prove who I am. I really thought it would be fun to wear a disguise for the picture. Groucho Marx glasses and a fuzzy wig. Oh wait, that would be my own hair. Just need a cigar and a mustache.

Well, not so interesting, but real. Have a wonderful week all my readers.

March 5, 2011

Today is my brother's birthday. He is 66. I still think of him as he was when he was about 14. He was a jolly kid and could always make me laugh. I hope he has a wonderful day.

The sun has been out all day and is warm. I looked early last week and the trees were just looking fuzzy. Now the leaves are fully out and that wonderful Spring neon green. It happened so quick. I guess that is the way life is for me these days. One minute the world is one way and the next it has all changed around, and I have some how missed the change.

I was thinking of music this week. President Obama and First Lady Michelle hosted the Motown Concert at the White House. Wow, it was very good. I grew up with the Motown sound. The Temptations still get my feet tapping. When I was 16 I got see Dinah Ross and Supremes in St. Louis. It was so exciting. I just don't think there will ever be a sound like the Motown Sound again.

My youngest son called this morning. He keeps regular tabs on me. That is nice. I hope I get to go out to Kansas this summer and visit. I sure would like to meet my youngest granddaughter and catch up with Kayla. I miss them both.

My sister sent me a book of Mandalas. They are sacred circles. Very cool, I may try to paint one on the screen porch. She always seems to know how to center my joy and my pain. That is a true talent.

Nothing fun this week. It has just been a week out of so many behind and ahead.

Thoughts for Wednesday

Finally, it is March. March is one of those months that gives you hope. While not being as warm as July, the sun does bring the warmth of days promised.

I got my hair cut at the local Beauty Salon. I had never been to this particular salon and was a bit apprehensive, but it turned out well. I look a bit more like me again.

I am short and round and look stupid with long hair. When I do have my hair longer I have to keep it pulled up and away from my neck and face. I can't stand hair hanging on my neck. At 60 a ponytail looks stupid, unless your a drop dead beautiful movie star. No pretense that that look has ever happened in my life time. So it is better to keep it short. Looks much better.

I also have enough hair for me and two other people. It is strange hair. Straight on top and outer layer. Nappy and wavy underneath. I often wonder where that combination came from in my ancestry. When just washed and let to dry of it's on volition, there is a tendency to be very frizzy and point in all directions. This makes me crazy, a Then I have to dry it, curl it and hope for the best. Another reason to keep it short as this process is then a lot shorter and less hassle.

I remember when I was in high school the ideal was straight hair. I would straighten my hair with the goop that was called "Curl Free". When applied to your head it looked as though someone had blown their nose on you. It smelled awful. But it worked for about 6 weeks when I would have to do the process all over again.

Now they have this thing called the "Brazilian Blowout". It costs $350.00 and lasts a couple of months. It is a tremendous amount of work and insanely expensive. I think my curl free was maybe, 10 bucks. These folks are nuts to spend that kind of money.

I do love to go to a hometown Beauty shop. You hear all the latest gossip, news and complaints. Very funny.

My Aunt Lulu had a beauty shop and it was always fun to hang out there. My friend Jo-Ellen's mom was also a beautician. We would play for hours in that salon doing each other's hair. I can't imagine Maxine enjoyed the mess when we were done. We sure had a great time though.

I think about all the hair styles throughout my growing up years. My first haircut came when I was about 5. I had long hair and Mom would stand me on a dining room chair to comb it. I can remember yelling, "your killing me". Not long after that I got a "DA". Very short with a duck tail. I remember the name thinking that was a stupid name for a hair cut and why did haircuts have names. I don't think I really thought about hair until I was in Junior High. I can remember practicing putting rollers in my hair. When I roll my hair today, I do it exactly the same way that I learned way back then. In high school I remember sleeping under the hair dryer in bed. I wonder now if that was a safety hazard. I used enormous rollers to help make my hair straighter.

I saw a girl the other day that had one of those haircuts that is shorter in back and long in the front. I just had to laugh. That is exactly the way we wore our hair in the late 60's. I chatted with her for a few seconds and told her that I wore my hair that way 40 + years ago. She looked at me like I was nuts. Maybe so, but I have pictures to prove it.

Have a wonderful week to all the readers of this insane blog.

Sunday, Bucket List

I saw the movie "The Bucket List", and while it really wasn't a very good movie, I decided to make one for myself. I thought I would share some of it with you.

I would like a week with my boys, Ian and Timothy. No kids, no wives. Just me and my boys.

I would like to visit Great Britain, and Ireland. Just a search for ancestors and feel the English soil under my feet.

Again, I want a new VW convertible, black, navigation system, and a kick butt sound system.

I want mannequin arms to put in my garden. Odd, yes, I know. Maybe my way of waving goodbye.

A week in a beach house. I live within 30 miles of the beach, but I can't hear the waves at night. This house should also come equipped with an industrial blender for making Cranberry Margaritas.

I would like my ashes shot into space when I die. However, my wonderful niece gave me a great idea, just in case the cost of space is out of the question. Just pack my ashes into fireworks and have a hell of a 4th of July.

Ride in a hot air balloon. This goes back to my wanting to go to Oz.

See the summer solstice at Stonehenge. See the sunset at Key West. See sunrise in Nova Scotia.

An entire summer to travel to Illinois, Kansas, and South Dakota.

A week with my sister and brother. Just the 3 of us. No kids allowed.

A week with all my kids and grandkids.

Whale watching. Not in one of those annoying little boats, but from a place that wouldn't disturb them.

Ride on the Orient Express. That costing to much then I would settle for a train trip across America.

So that is my list so far. There are lots of little things that pass through my thoughts but these are the really important ones. I know that most won't happen but who knows, maybe one or two will come true.

Feb. 22,2011

Sorry it has taken me so long to add to this blog. I've been wrapped in Bureaucratic stupidity for the last few days.

Granted, I am the world's worst procrastinator and tend do things last minute or late, but this has been pure insanity.

My drivers license expired on my birthday. We didn't have the ridiculous sum of near $70.00 to get it renewed. So now that we have come up with the money, I have to prove to these idiots who I am. I have a Social Security card, but again (due to procrastination) I just never changed my name on it. Oh my, that is a major sin according to the government. So instead of just taking all the tiny bits of paper and other stuff with my name on it and my SS #, I had to prove that indeed I am who I am. Not an easy task, when you really don't want to be who you are in the first place.

So after hours spent in the SS office and getting that mess straightened out, I will be off to the DMV to spend hours to renew my drivers license. I am sure that by the end of the day I will be in a lovely mood and will nearly be "postal".

OK, so that explains where I have been. In case you were wondering.

Last weekend was wonderful. Both Hannah and Christopher were here. It was great to have them here.I love to hear their laughter and just visit. Oh, and I got a couple of hugs and a kiss or two. Happy Grandma here.

I also want to rant on this whole thing with the Unions. Did you know that the first union protest was......are you ready........ Laborers protesting the Royal Taxation at the Boston Tea Party? I wonder if those idiot Tea Parry of to day would admit to that? Oh yes, I suppose they would do their usual whining about how the rich are so over taxed. In 1773, Philadelphia printers had the first strike for wage increase. In 1834 "Mill Girls" in Lowell, Mass. struck for the protection from wage cuts.

The Unions have a long history of protecting workers from the rich and powerful. Without them our labor force would be without minimum wages, health care, and a million other things that management would love to deny its workers.

We are a union household. Granted, there have been times when I wanted to scream at the Union Rep. for not doing his job, but all in all, the Union has provided for a good living.

If you have read all the entries on this blog you will know where I stand politically and know that I support the middle and lower class citizens. So get use to this ranting, it may go on for a very long time.

Now, on to more of the silly thoughts that have entered my 60 year old head. Last night there was a small discussion of "swashbuckling pirates". I wondered what a "swash" was and why did it require a buckle. Then I thought of Johnny Depp (my favorite pirate). He did swashing to a fault. Or at least, what I think of swashing would be. However, it does mean to be rough, noisy, and boastful. The buckle has something to do with the way a sword is held in a fight. I still prefer Depps portrayal of a pirate. Just a tad on the feminine side with a swish in the walk.

Fernandina Beach, Florida has a weekend festival called the Shrimp Festival. It is parades, arts, food and loads of fun. Lots of shrimp to eat in a variety of ways. Also there are Pirates everywhere. Fun and bawdy. If you ever get a chance to come to Florida, you really should go to the Shrimp Festival. I have enjoyed every year since moving here.

I do hope to keep up a little better on this writing. Oh, a news flash.......I have lots of Robins in yard today. So those of you who live in the north, it won't be long and they will be on their way to a yard near you.

Women

I've been thinking about women and how our lives have changed. Mostly, about the women of my family and women I have known.

My family had extremely strong and outgoing women. My grandmothers, although vastly different, were strong in their own ways. Grandma Toberman was a proper Victorian lady. She required proper manners, no crying, no smoking, no dating anyone that might be a foreigner, after the age of 12 you were required to wear a dress or skirt at all times. She was no fun and way to rigid. Grandma Best was also a proper lady but was not as stern. She taught me to make "mud pies" and to decorate them with corn. She let me climb trees, play in the hayloft, milk the cow with grandpa and play at the piano. She was strong and intelligent.

The next generation of women included my mom (Margaret), my aunts (Lulu, Alberta, and Geraldine). My mom was a funny and outgoing woman. I think she always was put down by her mother and always felt less than her sister. As I said, my Grandma Toberman, was not a nice woman. However, my mom was strong. Dad was on the road a lot and so she was left to raise 3 kids, for the most part, alone. She had a wicked sense of humor and an even more determined sense of right and wrong. She was a strong Democrat and she hated Richard Nixon.

I think that is so funny. I am sure that is where I get my political views. Her humor is how she coped most of the time. She could make you laugh and wasn't afraid to make silly when needed. She did have a dark side. There was an abiding sadness. Sometimes, that was hard for my sister, brother, and I to take. I truly believe that we all knew that she loved us, but sometimes it was hard.

My Aunts were all strong women in their own right. Aunt Lulu suffered for decades with Rheumatoid Arthritis. It was a wicked evil disease. Her sense of humor was well in tact also. I think I will remember her laughter as long as I live. Aunt Alberta was a lovely caring woman. She had lost her husband early in life and raised their son Bill as a single woman. She also had a sense of silliness. Aunt Geraldine (Aunt Toots) was fun and loving. I always thought of her as the ultimate 50's woman. She was always dressed to the nines and ready to entertain at a moments notice. I don't think I ever saw her in anything but dresses and heels.

Now, we move on to my generation. My cousins: Mary, Beverly, Linda and then me and my sister. Mary was another of those perfect 50's women. Always dressed to the nines, perfect manners, a polite sense of humor, and a strong woman. Beverly, Linda, Carole and I are all for the most part more laid back. Beverly got the wicked sense of humor. She knows more jokes than anyone I know. Linda was always my idol. I thought the sun came up and set on Linda. I never could think of Linda as anything but perfect. Carole, my sister, well, I can't think of anything but that I am blessed to have her. She is my rock. Smart, funny, and strong.

There are women who will follow us, daughters and granddaughters to carry on the family. They are all wonderful young women. Then we also have the women who have married our sons. Thank goodness our sons were smart enough to marry wonderful, smart and funny women.

Well, here is to all the women, past, present and future. You come from a long line of wonderful, smart and funny women. Carry on!