March 29th

Another long while since I've added anything. My mind has been in a fog for a couple of weeks.

I've noticed, today, how we hang on to material things that really don't mean anything to anyone but ourselves. What brought on this thought? Well, my dear love of a husband, Don, has been out of work for some time and he has run out of things to keep him occupied. (My list of honey-dos isn't on the priority of things to do). So he has been rummaging around the house looking for some remote controllers for the T.V.'s. We have decided to get rid of Dish Network until he goes back to work. Essentially, he has torn every room in the house apart. In the process of all this looking for remotes he has found lots of stuff that was left here by his Dad and Mom. I understand that they are both deceased, but I truly don't believe that we have to keep every scrap of paper, dish, pans, etc. that they owned. When my Daddy passed I came away with lovely memories and a small King Edward Cigar box of things that really mean something to me. I didn't need a whole pile of stuff just because it was Dad's.

Also, with all this rummaging around the house, he leaves the lights on and doors open to every room where he has been.Drags all the perceived treasures out to the dining room table. Granted, we have a very large table. He made it for me and it is lovely. Will seat 10 comfortably. Which means that most of the time it is just me and him at one end of the table. Very little room needed for the two of us. It is now covered in what I deem to be crap.

It really makes me laugh. I would gladly pull up a huge dump truck and start pitching stuff in to be hauled away. Another suggestion I had was that we have a huge rummage sale. We could use the cash right now. But that idea was met with utter outrage that I would even contemplate selling or trashing stff like early 50's ugly plastic Butterflies.

I am so hoping that my kids will be sensible about the few things that I deem to be mine. There really isn't a thing that should be kept that I have acquired over the years.

Again, we are back to the place where I am willing to subtract from my life. I just don't want to dust any of this stuff any more or try to find a place to put it all. Let alone, leave it all for my kids to have to sort through.

The only thing that really matters are memories. I have some wonderful ones of my Mom and Dad, my sister and brother, my kids and grandkids. What more could there possibly be?

Childhood favorites

The Cartoon Network is now running Loony Toons again. I am so excited. There is nothing like Bugs Bunny and company to make me giggle.

Loony Toons are one thing that no matter my age, I will always love. My favorite one is the one where Bugs finds himself at a Bullfight. The Bull in the cartoon has the best facial expressions ever. I have seen this one a million times and it still just makes me laugh until near pain.

I know that these cartoons are considered "harmful, violent, and etc." but I don't believe that our generation is any the worse off for having laughed at them. I can hardly watch todays cartoon shows that my grandchildren like, they are so stupid and contrived.

Also, I believe that my generation learned a lot about classical music from cartoons. Bugs and Elmer in an opera, the frustrated Conductor in a couple of other cartoons. Even the "Lone Ranger" used "William Tell Overture."

The cartoons today use little if any music.

I am recording all the Bugs I can for now, and I am sure I will watch them over and over and over when I need a laugh.

Wonderful Day to Paint

It has been a lovely sunny warm day. I started a Mandala Circle on the screen porch yesterday. What fun! I have found that my creative soul is very happy with paint on my hands and an idea in my heart and head.

Maybe it was a death of someone from my happy days of being a little girl that spawned this creative flow. A woman who's son was my age, passed away a few days ago. Her son and I were nearly inseparable when we very little. She was just a farm wife and a mom, but what a wonderful woman she was. She taught Sunday School at a tiny church in a tiny town in Illinois. She taught me the song, "This Little Light of Mine". She will never know how comforting that little song had become to me. Yes, it is a Christian song, but I think of it more as a human song. When things get tough, my Little Light, shines the brightest. I will miss the thought that given a real need I could have visited with her. Even though I hadn't seen her in many, many years, it was a comforting thought that she would still be there. I guess, in a sense she will always be with me, in my heart and memories. I hope that some child would think of me that way. What a wonderful thing, to be the "light" for some child.

March 9, 2011

Rain, rain, rain and more rain. The Lyle Love-It will be sad as he won't be able to go outside today. The puddles are deeper than he is tall.

My youngest son, Timothy, posted on his Facebook page a song and a pondering of what it will be like when his girls are grown and gone. Yes, my dear son, it is sad and very quiet. I miss my boys laughter most of all. Tim and Ian have very distinctive laughs and it is like music to my ears to hear. I also love to hear my grandchildren giggle. It as though a bell were tinkling in Heaven. I hope he and Ian get to hear the laughter of their grandkids. Maybe then they will understand just how wonderful it is to hear.

I have found that at 60 a person disappears. It is easy to forget that you exist. That you have thoughts, feelings and still love passionately. I guess with the gray hair you start to fade as a person, until you become a ghost. Most people look right past you and dismiss anything you might voice an opinion about. Ha, maybe that is why we are louder in our old age. We just want someone to fucking listen and not dismiss our thoughts.

It is odd this disappearing act that I am in right now. I've always fantasied about having the ability to disappear. But I wanted it to be on my terms, at will. This is not how it was supposed to go. Guess, that will teach me to be careful what I wish for.

I would really like to go to the ocean today and watch the waves. I need the centering that the ocean brings.

Hope everyone has a good day.

Ramblings in March

Sun is shining outside, but I am not feeling it. It is time to subtract. Painful, but what is left in life from the 60's but to let go those that wish to cause pain. Goodbye.

My dog, Lyle Love-It is always happy to see me. Guess that is all I really need now. His smile is worth so much more than a lot of people or things in my life.

Ok, so much for bemoaning life as it is right now.

I am on a rampage about the new Governor of Florida. He, like the rest of the Republican idiots voted into office this last fall, is taking on Education and Unions. I do believe that they want us to be stupid so that control will fall, even more, into the hands of the repulsive rich right. Ugh!

At the same time, I am wondering where, oh where is the left and why are they not stepping up to stop this insanity? Hopefully, come elections of 2012, they will come out of the woodwork and cause a stand against this idiocy.

The age of 60 has found me pondering who and what are really important. Certainly, those that can see beyond their own needs and those who value art, music, education are important. I just don't get those that can't get beyond themselves.

Oh, to those who are wondering.......I did get my new license and Social Security card. I am a real citizen again. Is that a good thing? I guess, as I can now drive and prove who I am. I really thought it would be fun to wear a disguise for the picture. Groucho Marx glasses and a fuzzy wig. Oh wait, that would be my own hair. Just need a cigar and a mustache.

Well, not so interesting, but real. Have a wonderful week all my readers.

March 5, 2011

Today is my brother's birthday. He is 66. I still think of him as he was when he was about 14. He was a jolly kid and could always make me laugh. I hope he has a wonderful day.

The sun has been out all day and is warm. I looked early last week and the trees were just looking fuzzy. Now the leaves are fully out and that wonderful Spring neon green. It happened so quick. I guess that is the way life is for me these days. One minute the world is one way and the next it has all changed around, and I have some how missed the change.

I was thinking of music this week. President Obama and First Lady Michelle hosted the Motown Concert at the White House. Wow, it was very good. I grew up with the Motown sound. The Temptations still get my feet tapping. When I was 16 I got see Dinah Ross and Supremes in St. Louis. It was so exciting. I just don't think there will ever be a sound like the Motown Sound again.

My youngest son called this morning. He keeps regular tabs on me. That is nice. I hope I get to go out to Kansas this summer and visit. I sure would like to meet my youngest granddaughter and catch up with Kayla. I miss them both.

My sister sent me a book of Mandalas. They are sacred circles. Very cool, I may try to paint one on the screen porch. She always seems to know how to center my joy and my pain. That is a true talent.

Nothing fun this week. It has just been a week out of so many behind and ahead.

Thoughts for Wednesday

Finally, it is March. March is one of those months that gives you hope. While not being as warm as July, the sun does bring the warmth of days promised.

I got my hair cut at the local Beauty Salon. I had never been to this particular salon and was a bit apprehensive, but it turned out well. I look a bit more like me again.

I am short and round and look stupid with long hair. When I do have my hair longer I have to keep it pulled up and away from my neck and face. I can't stand hair hanging on my neck. At 60 a ponytail looks stupid, unless your a drop dead beautiful movie star. No pretense that that look has ever happened in my life time. So it is better to keep it short. Looks much better.

I also have enough hair for me and two other people. It is strange hair. Straight on top and outer layer. Nappy and wavy underneath. I often wonder where that combination came from in my ancestry. When just washed and let to dry of it's on volition, there is a tendency to be very frizzy and point in all directions. This makes me crazy, a Then I have to dry it, curl it and hope for the best. Another reason to keep it short as this process is then a lot shorter and less hassle.

I remember when I was in high school the ideal was straight hair. I would straighten my hair with the goop that was called "Curl Free". When applied to your head it looked as though someone had blown their nose on you. It smelled awful. But it worked for about 6 weeks when I would have to do the process all over again.

Now they have this thing called the "Brazilian Blowout". It costs $350.00 and lasts a couple of months. It is a tremendous amount of work and insanely expensive. I think my curl free was maybe, 10 bucks. These folks are nuts to spend that kind of money.

I do love to go to a hometown Beauty shop. You hear all the latest gossip, news and complaints. Very funny.

My Aunt Lulu had a beauty shop and it was always fun to hang out there. My friend Jo-Ellen's mom was also a beautician. We would play for hours in that salon doing each other's hair. I can't imagine Maxine enjoyed the mess when we were done. We sure had a great time though.

I think about all the hair styles throughout my growing up years. My first haircut came when I was about 5. I had long hair and Mom would stand me on a dining room chair to comb it. I can remember yelling, "your killing me". Not long after that I got a "DA". Very short with a duck tail. I remember the name thinking that was a stupid name for a hair cut and why did haircuts have names. I don't think I really thought about hair until I was in Junior High. I can remember practicing putting rollers in my hair. When I roll my hair today, I do it exactly the same way that I learned way back then. In high school I remember sleeping under the hair dryer in bed. I wonder now if that was a safety hazard. I used enormous rollers to help make my hair straighter.

I saw a girl the other day that had one of those haircuts that is shorter in back and long in the front. I just had to laugh. That is exactly the way we wore our hair in the late 60's. I chatted with her for a few seconds and told her that I wore my hair that way 40 + years ago. She looked at me like I was nuts. Maybe so, but I have pictures to prove it.

Have a wonderful week to all the readers of this insane blog.